Welcome to Project Car Hell, where you choose your eternity by selecting the project that's the coolest... and the most hellish! We went for a Lambo-on-Lambo matchup last time, with the Espada taking the win over the Murcielago, and that means we need to give equal billing to Italy's rival PCH Superpower, Great Britain. And, just to make things more interesting, we're not going to have any British Leyland products!

Looking for a James Bond Aston Martin? Of course you are, but you're not one of those run-with-the-herd types who gets seduced by gadgets and impulse-buys a project DB5. No, you watch On Her Majesty's Secret Service for the 19th time and impulse-buy this 1968 Aston Martin DBS. What are the first words that come to mind when you see this fine British automobile? I mean, after "basket case" and "burn victim," that is? Exactly: Beautiful car. Even sitting in a dirt lot in California's Meth Gold Country, where it spends every winter beneath a layer of snow and every summer baking in the relentless high-altitude sun, even though it's what the seller himself describes as "barely a rolling chassis," this Aston is still a great-looking car. This one will need an engine and transmission, but is that even a challenge? You've got the world's economy collapsing, buddy- desperate sellers will give you anything from a Toyota 1JZGTE to this Countach drivetrain, for next to nothing! Then you just need to fix the interior, body, suspension, electrical system, brakes, and… well, you get the picture. Thanks to Jon for the tip!

You like the Aston Martin, but you know you'd get sick of the Bond jokes once you finished it? Yeah, even though you'd be 92 years old by that point, the Bond jokes would get tiresome. What you need is a product of the illustrious Rootes Group, Chrysler's henchmen on the Continent, and we don't mean any damn Simca or Hillman here. No, we're talking Humber now, the class of the British Rootes lineup, and we've found us this nice 1965 Humber Super Snipe up in Canada. It failed to sell at 700 bucks, so you should be able to snag it for a few cases of Moosehead. It runs, even… well, actually, it "fires right up right away," but that means a tiny part most of the journey is already done! There's some rust "just starting" in the usual spots, but how bad could that be? It's a good-looking car with a big six-cylinder (and room for an even bigger one) with that hard-to-find Anglo-Detroit styling, for dirt cheap- what are you waiting for? Thanks to Armand Bengle for the tip!