The Chevette was never a great car, I get that. But I’m not sure the Chevette was so bad that it’s worth offering to fellate a stranger just to get rid of one. I mean, maybe it is, because there’s at least one person in Kansas City who’ll go down on you if you take a non-running ‘86 Chevette off their hands.
[EDITOR’S NOTE: This Craigslist post being discussed has been flagged for removal since the writing of this article.]
The offer for a blowjob-to-take-away-a-dead-Chevette appeared on, of course, Craigslist. I mean, this ad possibly is Craigslist, at its most fundamental level: oral sex, a non-running car, a slight air of exasperated desperation. It’s got it all.
The ad copy reads:
I’m a single 23 yo trying to get rid of the car. It needs just a little work to run but doesn’t run now. It’s an 86 Chevette. If you can haul it or fix it to drive away it’s yours. I will offer a blowjob to get it off my property. Please serious inquiries only.
~ Kelly K
There’s something strange about the “serious inquiries only” part, because that implies there’s someone out there who is taking the idea of getting fellated in exchange for a beat-to-shit Chevette very seriously. Maybe they’re even making a pro/con list.
Is this technically prostitution? I mean, nothing’s being given, just...taken. I mean, I guess whoever does this is giving the beautiful and valuable gift of the absence of a Chevette, which does make a lovely gift. Remember that for the holidays!