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Mercedes-Benz Audio Crapfest, Jalopnik Contest, Day 6: The Winners!

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You thought the taunting would never end, didn't you? Well, it's here, and we've got a winner. Class, meet Stephen. He came up with a dizzying array of music all well-suited to the 1999 Mercedes-Benz CLR LeMans prototype racer. What makes Stephen's entry better than all the rest is not just the diversity of his song choices (everything from Diana Ross to H sker D ), but the way he related them to the aerodynamically unstable racecar, thus illustrating his knowledge of not only LeMans, but also busting out with some MB arcana that posts about SLKs just can't match, no matter how many Ted Leo or Mot rhead tracks you may throw at us.

For his trouble, Stephen scores Shut Up and Take It from Austin' TX's very own Pink Swords, all-girl Japanese sensation Gitogito Hustler's Gitogito Galore, and Nippon-born, Europe-based ber-rockers Electric Eel Shock's brand-spankin'-new Beat Me. Plus, he gets copies of Gearhead Records samplers Smash-Up Derby and The Thingmaker, as well as a Gearhead t-shirt of his choice. Our runners-up will receive copies of the two samplers, plus whatever other swag the folks at Gearhead HQ care to throw in.


Quoth Stephen:

Here's my selection. To be played whilst driving in the 1999 Mercedes CLR Le Mans racer.


1. The A Teens Upside Down
2. Diana Ross Upside Down
3. Salt N Pepa Upside Down (Round And Round)
4. The Ramones My Brain Is Hanging Upside Down
5. Westlife Flying Without Wings
6. R. Kelly I Believe I Can Fly
7. Seal Fly Like An Eagle
8. N*E*R*D Fly Or Die
9. Outkast Flip Flop Rock
10. The Blues Brothers Flip, Flop And Fly
11. H sker D Flip Your Wig
12. Any song you can think of by Lil' Flip
13. Vic Reeves Dizzy
14. Blackalicious First in Flight
15. Janis Joplin Mercedes Benz

Now can you guess what made the CLR so famous?

Besides yesterday's runner-up candidates, we got two late entries that were well worthy of inclusion and so we're extending the numbers of runners-up to four big almost-winners.

Sez Will:

This one's going to have to accompany, say, a 1989 190E, since I'm an unemployed fresh college grad and that's about the most I would be able to afford!


1. Les Savy Fav "We've Got Boxes"
2. Drive Like Jehu "Bullet Train to Vegas"
3. Fugazi "Do You Like Me"
4. Gang of Four "Damaged Goods"
5. Television "Marquee Moon"
6. Liars "Mr You're on Fire Mr"
7. Refused "Summerholiday vs. Punkroutine"
8. Botch "To Our Friends in the Great White North"
9. The Black Keys "10 a.m. Automatic"
10. The Hold Steady "Barfruit Blues"
11. Silkworm "I Hope You (Don't Survive)"
12. Hum "If You Are to Bloom"
13. Dinosaur Jr. "Freak Scene"
14. Dismemberment Plan "The City"
15. Big Black "The Model"

We know the indierock girlies would be a-swoonin' if you rolled up that pimped 190 E with "Freak Scene" blarin', Will. And once you score one of those hotties to take care of you, who needs a goddamn job?


And lastly a somewhat dirty entry comes a fellow Central Valley boy. Here's to hopin' you get outta there soon, Phil:

Here's what I'd be listening to if Mercedes decided to swap me one of their cars straight across for my ex-San San Joaquin County Sheriff's Crown Vic (accessorized with the scent of countless gallons of Stockton Drunken Parolee Urine, which I'm pretty sure is an option Mercedes doesn't offer):

1. Sister Double Happiness Wheels a Spinnin'
2. Melt-Banana "We Will Rock You
3. Mot rhead God Save the Queen (yeah Sid Johnny 1977 blah fuckin' blah, but Lemmie's version makes those London wankers sound like, well, London wankers)
4. Bo Diddley Aztec
5. The Stooges Dirt
6. Butthole Surfers Cowboy Bob
7. Agent Orange Bloodstains
8. Duane Eddy 40 Miles of Bad Road
9. Snakefinger Smelly Tongues
10. Flaming Lips Jesus Shootin' Heroin
11. Angelo Badalamente The Pink Room (from "Fire Walk With Me" soundtrack)
12. Throbbing Gristle Hot on the Heels of Love
13. Negativland Time Zones
14. X Adult Books
15. Smoke The Trip


Yes, the Valley is a strange, strange place, and Phil is obviously a strange, strange man (for example, he's one of the only entrants to get the infamous Mot rhead umlaut right, yet he misspelled Lemmy's name). Which is why we love him. And all of you, too. Thanks to everyone who participated. You're beautiful. To all the winners, you're obviously even more beautiful. And until next time, keep one foot in the gutter and one fist in the gold.

Mercedes-Benz Audio Crapfest, Jalopnik Contest, Day 1!; Day 2; Day 3; Day 4; Day 6