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Man Discovers Audi Drenched In Bird Shit

Photo: YouTube
Photo: YouTube

Who doesn’t love to start their day by waking up, drinking a fresh cup of coffee, and looking outside to find their vehicle completely covered in bird shit. Like the vehicle you see above. It’s drenched. Yuck.

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The Daily Mail found this video uploaded on Wednesday to YouTube. It’s unclear if the person who shot the video owns the pictured Audi A6, or just happens to be a mean neighbor getting pleasure at the sight of the shitty brown, white and yellow shitty scene.

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There happens to be a second video, uploaded by the same user, a second or two shorter, where, instead of saying “this is what happens when you leave your car” under a heron’s nest, the cameraman says “Audi” instead of “car” and, I don’t know, maybe this is some vindictive neighbor? Who are you, bird shit filmer?

The Daily Mail, hilariously, cites anonymous “experts” who say the best way to clean up bird droppings is to use a sponge and warm soapy water.

Another good rule of thumb: don’t park under a heron’s nest, folks.

Senior Reporter, Jalopnik/Special Projects Desk

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DISCUSSION

Our neighbors have homing pigeons. they HAD 3. And let them out very infrequently, and would perch on their garage roof. Fine.

Then they redid their garage roof with metal panels, and got five more. So now... the birds are being “trained”, and are out ALL THE TIME. And guess what? They don’t like the metal roof on the garage. So now they perch on our garage and shit all over that. Then they also perch on the roof rack of our A4, and the rack and mirrors of our Suburban. Shit all over those. In addition their claws have scratched up the trucks mirrors, and the black end caps on our Whispbar rack on the Audi. And i keep our cars very clean. They said I’m more than welcome to discourage them however I want.

So every day, 3 or 4 times a day i go and spray the fucking birds with the hose. I’ve greatly reduced the problem but it still exists.

This coming from the same neighbor who informed us that they might have to start putting out poison because they are finding cat shit in their (very ugly) flower beds. Which of course is highly illegal. I don’t believe they have... but the fact that it was mentioned.... sheesh

So its fine of your “pets” shit all over other peoples property, but not vise versa. Got it.

Fuck birds, and fuck my neighbors.