Let Me Use The Carpool Lane, I'm Good For It

HOV lane use in 2005.
HOV lane use in 2005.
Photo: Getty Images

I understand that the carpool lane is for vehicles carrying multiple people. But the thing is, I’m a good person. I deserve to drive in it alone.


I get that the whole system of the carpool lane is to keep drivers like me, driving alone in my car, out of the carpool lane. Does this improve the flow of traffic? Research suggests it does not. Is this strictly to punish me and other drivers like me? It sure feels that way.

What the carpool lane can’t see is that while I may be alone in my car, sharing the regular lanes with all the other single-driver assholes in this traffic, I’m different.

You see, all the other drivers are assholes. I, on the other hand, am nice. I’m a nice guy! I say hello in the hallways. I hold the door. People say I’m fun, and I am fun.

Anyway, all these other drivers do this all the time. They’re the problem. I just happened to be driving today. Free as a bird. No one to even carpool with. Just doing a little trip. Teensy little errand out of town.

Beep beep, don’t mind me. Just let me in, just this once, c’mon.

Raphael Orlove is features editor for Jalopnik.


Da Car Guru - Now on 2-wheels

HOV lanes should just be changed to high-speed lanes. Seriously, I think all the folks driving by themselves should have a lane with a higher speed limit (or none at all a la AutoBahn). Everyone else who’s carrying a passenger or more can stick with the limited-speed lanes and continue on driving as regular. It’s a crazy idea and a lot of folks are going to call me out on it, but most people in Ontario treat the HOV lanes as the “fast lane.”

We’d definitely need to set some sort of crash barrier as well, so that no one tries to cross the wide solid lane to get into the HOV (high-speed) lane out of nowhere. Sorry If I sound crazy, but I do miss the Autostrada and Autobahn driving from my time in Europe. I live in Michigan and the regular highways get treated like autobahns all the time, but the left lane discipline (lack of) and road conditions drive me up the wall (pun intended).