I miss the days when wealthy, gigantic dogs could afford to buy Goliath GP700s and hire well-dressed chauffeurs to drive them around.

“That squirrel, Ms.Clamsmasher, at your ten o’clock: follow it, on the double. Chop chop!”

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About the author

Jason Torchinsky

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus • Not-so-running: 1973 Reliant Scimitar, 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!)