Illustration for article titled Hookers, Killers, And Spies: More Of The Craziest Car Buyers

Last week gave I you dealerships folks an opportunity to tell the most off-the-wall and unbelievable customer stories. What surprised me the most is the amount of criminals that make their way into the showroom. So I decided to dedicate an entire post to some of the more unsavory characters.


Reader sl_texas wins the Walker Texas Ranger award for car sales-

There was one time when we inadvertently busted a drug and prostitution ring. I was working at a Dallas Chevy dealership and a group of young girls came in and flirted with one of the young sales guys. They wanted to test drive a new Z71. They loaded up and took off, and since he thought he was about to get lucky he didn't ask questions, nor did he get their driver license or insurance, etc. They had been gone a while, and I noticed him walking up about the same time I noticed the car that they came in was gone as well. They had driven into town and when they were going to "switch drivers" he got the boot. They were too dumb to think about the fact that every new car on the lot had Onstar. We called and had the vehicle located an hour later at a hotel in Dallas... a hotel with several other stolen cars and a few rooms of stolen merchandise, prostitutes, and a surprised and ticked off drug dealer. People had been stealing cars and items and bringing them to this guy for drugs and time with the girls. Unfortunately, these young girls, who were still there getting high, had gotten dumb and greedy and went for something new.


"Oh hi...I need a cheap car that can get me to Mexico, what do you recommend?" From highlandparkil-

Had a lady come in one afternoon to buy a car. She didn't really care what kind of car, just something under $6000. When we got to doing the paperwork and I asked if she wanted the car registered in her name, she got spooked. She didn't want to register the car at all?? She stormed out. Saw her on the 5pm news. She killed her husband earlier that day. Called the FBI.

As if that wasn't crazy enough... he has another story-

Guy comes in to buy a $2500 Hyundai. I usually google people when they are on test drives, because I'm nosey. Turns out he is a registered sex offender. Comes back from the test drive and tells me out of the blue that he likes the car, is happy with the condition and he chopped his dick off 2 years ago.

WHAT?! I tried to let it pass, but now he wants to tell me all about his chopped off dick. He then proceeded to show me nude pics of the fattest, nastiest girls on his phone, and a picture of the chopped off dick.

Long story short, I sold the car.

And reader dougzimm92084 has a story that comes to us from Russia...with love -

Not a dealer, but my guy at VW in Alexandria, VA told me about a Russian spy ring that tried to use their dealership to launder money and pass information to contacts. They were locked down by the FBI and they were all questioned. Remember that hot redhead spy from several years ago that got caught and then deported? That was them.


Many of you shared your stories about the service and repair side of the industry. Keep those tales handy; I'll have another post that deals with that in the near future. And In case you missed part one, you can find that here.


(Photo credit: Shutterstock)

If you have a question, a tip, or something you would like to to share about car-buying, drop me a line at and be sure to include your Kinja handle.

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