Boobs, Beatdowns and Chicken Buckets: These Are The Craziest Car Buyers

Pretty much everyone buys a car at some point in time. Car dealers face folks from all walks of life that come into that showroom. Most of the time a dealer will help a buyer select a car, go on a test drive, and negotiate pricing, but sometimes some real characters make their way onto the lot.

Yesterday we asked you dealers that work in the business to share your craziest, wackiest, most off-the-wall customer stories. Here are some of the best.


RichardNixon72 who either has the best screen-name for a car dealer or the worst, has been in the business a long time. He shared a few tidbits-

Which one do you want to hear?

The family who brought in an order from the county saying their property was 'unfit for human habitation' as proof of their address for their loan?

The guy who bought a Pacifica from us and ended up sleeping in it with his friend, a stripper, and their two bull mastiffs?

The guy who wrote a 1500-word bad review about my dealership because the $500 van he bought for $500 blew up after he owned it for two months and I wouldn't give him his money back?

The thugs who took an MKT on a test drive in the morning and we received a visit from the police saying we have to come get our 'evidence' out of impound because it was involved in a drug sting?

The lady zonked out on pills who fell asleep in a TrailBlazer out on our front line for five hours in the Florida heat in July?

The family who ate a bucket of KFC chicken in the showroom and left the bucket on my desk?

The guy who screamed at me for being racist because I wouldn't let him test drive a Camaro SS because he was black, not because he refused to show me his driver's license?

The lady who filed a complaint with DMV against us because we didn't inform her a Hemi Commander gets bad gas mileage and she can't afford it?

My former General Manager who did lines on his desk?

From cmusic....Some people just don't "understand" discounts-

The craziest story I heard from one of them was a man in his mid 60s that came in to a dealership that one of my friends was working at as a salesman. The man wanted to trade in his old truck for a new one. He found the new truck he wanted and started negotiating with my friend. My friend the salesman started by knocking $3000 off of the sticker price (automatic manufacture rebate) and offering him $500 above NADA trade in value for his old truck. The man would not accept the opening offer. He insisted the salesman was playing games with him. He was not going to get taken by a deal he did not understand. He wanted to pay the full sticker price plus get exactly what the NADA book said for his trade-in. The salesman wrote down everything on paper and the man still would not accept any deduction off of the sticker price or any amount for his trade-in other than what NADA book said. After about 30 minutes, the salesman finally drew up the paperwork for full sticker price and exact NADA trade-in value. The man left happy with his new truck.


I've taught numerous car buyers some tricks to get the best deal, but I have never suggested that they reveal private body parts to do so. Reader sl_texas explains-

The funniest was the woman who was breastfeeding her 4 year old... a very blessed and beautiful woman... I was desking the deal and all the cubicles were glass. All of the sales guys were piled up in the tower laughing every time the salesman came in to negotiate terms... We were laughing because we all had a clear shot of what was going on. He was one of the most polite and conservative guys you could meet, and the woman decided when the child was done to just let the source of food just hang out there for us all to see... I think she was trying to throw him off to get a better deal... it worked. The poor guy was fumbling and trying not to look at her the whole time... which was a good hour or so.


Just an FYI, if you try to exceed the 155mph limiter on your BMW during a test drive with BMWPete, you might get cut-

I almost forgot, the guy that wanted to see if the m6 conv. would hit 160 mph on the parkway..... i put a screwdriver up to his kneck and told him i'd stab him.


It is important to ask the right questions when you arrive at the dealership, you want to know about the features, the price, and whether or not the vehicle is a good fit for you. There is a right way and a wrong way to find out this information. I do not suggest this method-

From JimZ:

my dad told me a story about the dealership he used to work at. This was back when the original Dodge/Plymouth Neon launched, and people were lining up to buy them. Dealers had very little stock on hand; cars were sold pretty much the moment they rolled off of the trailer.

The showroom was, while not quiet, not really a noisy place. Just the usual chattering between salespeople and customers. Then this big dude walks in the front door and before the lady at the welcome desk could greet him, he loudly bellows to the entire showroom "SO WHERE THE MUTHAFUCKIN' NEONS AT?"

*stunned silence*

I think this is one sale they were happy to pass on.

Now that I think about it...were are the muthafuckin' Neons? I can't remember the last time I saw one.


I'm a big proponent of securing your own financing before going to the dealership, but this is something else from TheAmusingNerd-

A man came in to purchase a Saturn, and was 100% serious. He was going to pay cash and all the paperwork was done when he pulled out a suitcase full of Monopoly money.


Now I realize that some dealers are total bullshit artitists and sometimes they can get you angry...but if you are going to yell at someone make sure you are yelling at the right person. From Abomination-

The cake goes to one of the worst customers of all time. A small man with a napoleon complex that was everyones nightmare. Yelled and berated the salesman, verbally assaulted the finance manager and was overall one of the worst people we ever sold a car to. When he was coming back to pick up his registration he came flying into the car dealership parking lot at 40mph tires screaming. He slams on his brakes because a very large man with a polo on is standing in the parking spot on his phone. He jumps out of the car screaming at him, calling him a piece of shit, he's lucky he doesnt kick his ass, hes going to get him fired etc. At this point he assumes the man is a salesman.

The man calmly puts his phone in his pocket, walks over and open hand slaps the man. It breaks his glasses, knocks him violently to the ground with a thud. The man says "I'm not sure who you think your talking to, but I ain't him" (yes, said ain't).

He was a customer for the harley shop next door. Everyone was cracking up and he took off as fast as he came in. Never did get his registration.


(Photo Credit: Shutterstock)

If you have a question, a tip, or something you would like to to share about car-buying, drop me a line at and be sure to include your Kinja handle.

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