“Hey kids! Guess where we’re taking our joint vacation with our fellow AMC-family this year?”

“Disneyland?”

“Ha ha! Nope!”

“The beach? Skiing? A water park? New York?”

“Ha ha ha! No, no, and no!”

“Where, daddy, where?” 

“A goddamn empty rock quarry, and it’s going to be boring and terrible! Ha ha ha! Terrible! Boring! Ooooh HA AH HA HA HA COUGH OOH HA HA HA!”

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About the author

Jason Torchinsky

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus • Not-so-running: 1973 Reliant Scimitar, 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!)