The Tank Top Budget In Fast 9 Has Got To Be Incredible

Screenshot: MovieClips Trailers
Screenshot: MovieClips Trailers

“Fatherhood means you can’t live life a quarter mile at a time anymore,” and boy howdy is THAT true. I wish I came up with that, as it seems like I’m making fun of the trailer for the next Fast & Furious movie, seemingly titled The Fast Saga. But no, it’s just a line from Dom Toretto in the trailer for the trailer for the movie.

Dom and Letty are parents now! Things have changed! Their kid is named Brian, like Brian O’Connor, the on-again, off-again fed played by Paul Walker before his death in real life.

Dom is busy doing dad stuff, like getting Brian to hand him tools while he fixes a tractor, and Letty is doing mom stuff, like giving Brian a necklace to protect him instead of, I don’t know, going into witness protection.

I didn’t see the 7th nor 8th movie in the series, but I did regret sitting through all of Hobbs & Shaw. I will also be watching the full trailer when it debuts this Friday before deciding if I should catch up on these movies, or play “See You Again” as I say goodbye to this franchise forever.

Reviews Editor, Jalopnik

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I’m not gonna lie, the original Fast & Furious is on syndication this month on Showtime and since my wife has been out of town for work and I have been bored most evenings, I have sat through at least part of it several times. There is something special about the original which has not really been captured in any of the sequels. Through the sometimes awkward writing, unrealistic technical details (danger to manifold, anybody?), extreme campiness, and mediocre acting (Paul clearly hadn’t started his acting lessons yet) the movie shines as something special as a well-shot and scored (BT is one of my favorite musicians of all time) film that really draws you to the main characters and celebrates the camaraderie of close friends and family.

I remember seeing the movie when it came out for the first time at a small theater in Cape May along with a friend whose family had invited me to the beach during the summer between my freshman and sophomore college years. We were both petrolheads and left the theater drag racing our bicycles (the official mode of transportation at the beach) at high speeds while still reeling from the movie. Maybe it was because I first saw the movie at such a transformative time of my young adult life, but it really made an impact on me and I still feel these characters even when watching the movie as a late 30's adult. I still get a tingle down my spine during certain scenes, especially when Brian and Dom return to Dom’s house after running from the cops only to find Dom’s crew chilling out to some excellent ambient music from BT while Vince plays along on his base to impress a lady like the tool that he is.

If only they could have kept things simple instead of turning the crew into international masterminds who jump hypercars from skyscrapers and drive tow trucks in reverse at 80 mph down treacherous Mexican mountain roads. Maybe what made the first movie so great was it’s simplicity and the fact that the characters seemed like real people with real problems and relationships, not superheroes who fly around the world.

What was originally an ode to car nuts like us has become a generic action franchise and while it has made the series infinitely more profitable it has gone too far from what it was originally trying to achieve.