One good thing about being forced to stay inside your house because of a virus is that it gives you a chance to really reflect on things and finally, perhaps for the first time ever, see things as they really are. For me, this has been the realization that the movie Bullitt, with its famous car chase scene and even more famous fastback Mustang, would really have been better if Steve McQueen was driving an early-to-mid 1990s Saturn SL1.
I know I can’t be the only one to have thought this. Unfortunately, my GOOGLE.EXE app seems to be screwing up, because it’s not showing any of the thousands of webpages and Compuserve posts talking about this that I’m positive are out there.
Just in case you’re (somehow) on the fence with this one, I instructed DR.LASANGA, Jalopnik’s in-house AI, to download a copy of Bullitt and digitally replace the Mustang with a Saturn SL1.
Holy crap, the movie is so much better this way. For copyright reasons, I can’t link to the entire improved movie, so please accept these screenshots until my lawyers (one’s a dog, but he passed the bar in Utah, so it’s cool; the other is a Mrs. Buttersworth bottle filled with “liquid law” elixir I bought from a traveling shaman) convinces MGM to convince Warner Bros. to let me distribute the Saturn-ized movie.
Here you go:
Oh, yeah, waaaaaaay better!
I know Saturns were FWD but maybe no one will notice it’s the rear wheels doing the burnout here.
Damn, he looks so much more at home in that Saturn!
A dramatic improvement!
So, as you can see, Bullitt should have featured a Saturn SL1 from the start, even if it meant either delaying the production by 20 years or so or arranging for a time machine to ferry a Saturn SL1 back to 1968.
Ah, I feel a lot better now.