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Freedom Of Information Act Request Reveals Existence Of Evil Genius Black Ops LeMons Racer

Illustration for article titled Freedom Of Information Act Request Reveals Existence Of Evil Genius Black Ops LeMons Racer

We've been hearing hints that Evil Genius Racing is cooking up some sort of brain-meltingly ridiculous awesome machine for the Goin' For Broken 24 Hours Of LeMons race, to be held in Nevada in May…


You'd think that the Evil Genius would be willing to reveal the secrets of this project to his erstwhile Black Metal V8olvo teammates, but lately he's been seen rolling in a black Suburban with very dark window tint, surrounded by a bunch of guys with earphones, sunglasses, and gun bulges. It's all very mysterious, and the implication is that anyone who asks too many questions about the alleged EG LeMons racer (which, rumor has it, is called simply "Black Ops") will end up confessing his or her crimes in a secret compound in a country where they've never heard of Miranda v. Arizona. I do know for a fact that the Black Ops racer is going to raise the bar for LeMons madness, even given the stratospheric levels set by the Ghettocharged Frankenmiata and CBR990RR-powered Metro Gnome. For now, all we can show you is this heavily-redacted FOIA document, but we're going to keep digging for more info.

As you speculate on the very-wrong-but-oh-so-right vehicle that is Black Ops, you'd better start preparing for the Houston Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons event, which opens the 2009 LeMons season next weekend. I'll be there, the Loverman will be there, some cruel innovative new penalties will be there, several junkyards' worth of (alleged) $500 race cars will be there, and we've cooked up some surprises that you won't want to miss. See you there!


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Inasmuch as the top speed is listed in KPH, not MPH, and the engine output is listed in HP, not KW, I am going out on a limb, and saying that the chassis will be a European make, and the engine will be good old Detroit iron.