In honor of it being Star Wars Day, we dug though some web archives from a long time ago, in an internet far, far away, and discovered something pretty great: the Craigslist ad for Luke’s Landspeeder. Also, stay out of the ‘Casual Encounters’ section on Mos Eisley Craigslist — it’s just creepy as shit.

Anyway, for those interested, here’s a screenshot of the actual ad Luke Skywalker posted to quickly sell off his old X-34 Landspeeder:

Here’s the text, if you’re having trouble reading all that:

A recent family tragedy and some rapidly changing life goals are forcing me to sell my awesome X-34 Landspeeder. It’s always been perfect for cruising for hot Tashi Station girls or whichever ones of the sand people are the gender you like (no judgements). My X-34 has the optional “Desert Wind” body-stripe package over the Light Desert Rose paint, which is a rare combo. It’s missing the upper engine housing on the left-side engine nacelle, but it actually runs better without it because the 34s always have cooling issues on that side. There’s a lot of fading, wear, and carbon scoring on the paint/body, and the windscreen is pretty cloudy and scratched. I do have the optional Horizontal Astromech Holder Rack installed on the left rear deck, which was a pricey option back in the day.There’s also a dent on the front from a Bantha accident, but it missed the radiators. Sometimes it’s slow to start in the morning before all three suns are up, but I think it just needs a new fuel pump. Also, a comp rat once got sucked in the intake and now the right side repulsorlift is like 3/4” lower than the left. You totally get used to it.I had the optional hardtop in my garage, but it may have been melted to slag by stormtroopers — I need to leave planet, but buyer is welcome to comb ruins to see what’s salvagable.I know since the XP-38s came out , these aren’t in demand as much, but they’re still great landspeeders. Willing to listen to all reasonable offers. LEAVING SOON SO NO TIME WASTERS!

Fascinating, right?

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