In honor of it being Star Wars Day, we dug though some web archives from a long time ago, in an internet far, far away, and discovered something pretty great: the Craigslist ad for Luke’s Landspeeder. Also, stay out of the ‘Casual Encounters’ section on Mos Eisley Craigslist — it’s just creepy as shit.

Anyway, for those interested, here’s a screenshot of the actual ad Luke Skywalker posted to quickly sell off his old X-34 Landspeeder:

Here’s the text, if you’re having trouble reading all that:

A recent family tragedy and some rapidly changing life goals are forcing me to sell my awesome X-34 Landspeeder. It’s always been perfect for cruising for hot Tashi Station girls or whichever ones of the sand people are the gender you like (no judgements). My X-34 has the optional “Desert Wind” body-stripe package over the Light Desert Rose paint, which is a rare combo. It’s missing the upper engine housing on the left-side engine nacelle, but it actually runs better without it because the 34s always have cooling issues on that side. There’s a lot of fading, wear, and carbon scoring on the paint/body, and the windscreen is pretty cloudy and scratched. I do have the optional Horizontal Astromech Holder Rack installed on the left rear deck, which was a pricey option back in the day.There’s also a dent on the front from a Bantha accident, but it missed the radiators. Sometimes it’s slow to start in the morning before all three suns are up, but I think it just needs a new fuel pump. Also, a comp rat once got sucked in the intake and now the right side repulsorlift is like 3/4” lower than the left. You totally get used to it.I had the optional hardtop in my garage, but it may have been melted to slag by stormtroopers — I need to leave planet, but buyer is welcome to comb ruins to see what’s salvagable.I know since the XP-38s came out , these aren’t in demand as much, but they’re still great landspeeders. Willing to listen to all reasonable offers. LEAVING SOON SO NO TIME WASTERS!

Fascinating, right?

Click here to view this kinja-labs.com embed.

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