No clickbait here! This post delivers exactly what the headline promises: five genuinely terrible car names I just made up. Feel free to come up with your own in the comments! It’s surprisingly fun!

Lipoma 3500 (Italy)
Prolapse Clamking (USA)
Wooldiaper Nostrilfire 1800 (UK)
Mushler Groincat (Belgium)
Hamlove Regret 1200 (Germany)

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus • Not-so-running: 1973 Reliant Scimitar, 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!)

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