Everyone, everyone, quick, get your heads into something metallic! The woman in the Maverick—don’t look at her!—she’s attempting to use mind control on us. All of us! That fixed stare, the finger at the temple—I know what’s going on! I can feel it, it’s happening, no wait, my mind, please no wait yes oh no yes yes mistress I am at your command.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus • Not-so-running: 1973 Reliant Scimitar, 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!)

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