Everybody Freak The Fuck Out This Is Your Last Chance To Buy A Stick Shift Jeep Compass(!)

Illustration for article titled Everybody Freak The Fuck Out This Is Your Last Chance To Buy A Stick Shift Jeep Compass(!)
Image: Jeep

The media relations director over at CarsDirect just emailed us to share that they’d confirmed the 2021 Jeep Compass would not be available with a six-speed manual. Which made me realize, hey, there was a 2020 Jeep Compass available with a six-speed manual!

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CarsDirect cited Jeep spokesperson Amy Grundman saying “there wasn’t much of a demand for a manual transmission.” A revelation indeed. The site went on to share that: “National inventory listings indicate that less than 1 percent of Compass configurations involve a manual transmission. That’s roughly 100 vehicles in the entire U.S.” (Even that sounds like a lot to me?)

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The Compass is, of course, one of those cars I’ll never understand personally but normies love to buy. “Looks like an SUV” plus “low MSRP” is a surefire sales formula in 2020 America, so, yeah. I guess I understand it well enough.

If you’re wondering why Jeep bothered to offer a manual at all, I suspect that it let the automaker sneak in a super-low “starts at $XX,XXX!” list price to lure people into Jeep stores. I should probably look up what the actual price is, but I just, cannot bring myself to care.

Ugh, fine! God, you’re such a bunch of sticklers. A front-drive Compass with no options except for orange paint (the only color besides white that you can spec without an upcharge! Bizarre!) lists out at $22,280 on Jeep’s build-and-price site. So that’s a 2.4-liter MultiAir four-banger hooked up to a C635 six-speed manual with front-wheel drive.

The six-speed auto, an Aisin F21-250 Gen 3, adds $1,500 to the list price. I would imagine the company has crossed a threshold where the math for offering a manual to keep advertised lowest-price down lower no longer works out, so goodbye to an oddball poverty-spec sport utility vehicle.

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Run, don’t walk, to your nearest Jeep store and get a stick-shift Compass before they’re gone! Just kidding, don’t do this, the people working there will probably laugh at you and say they’ve never seen one.

Jalopnik Staffer from 2013 to 2020, now Editor-In-Chief at Car Bibles

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DISCUSSION

20 years, David Tracy hides in a corner in the post-apocalyptic hell that is the United States of America. Armor-clad police march in columns down the street. Jim Spanfeller, having somehow failed his way into a role as Ivanka Trump’s Vice President, shouts over loudspeakers about beans. People writhe in agony on the street, dying of SuperCOVID. The wind is hot, blasting his face, but waiting until after the column has passed, he walks on, because he’s happy, he’s done a good thing. He’s managed to sabotage the secret police by complying with their mandatory seizure order of ‘functioning four wheel drive vehicles’. The Vice President’s order to turn all texts into slideshows means they haven’t read that he hasn’t owned a functioning four wheel drive vehicle in decades. As he walks, he sees something orange, and it’s not rust. He gets closer, he takes a look through the window. He can’t believe his eyes, and can’t stop himself from exclaiming...

“Is that... is that... a HOLY GRAIL Jeep Compass?”