I’m hoping you’re not getting sick of me talking about my Mille Miglia trip to Italy, because there’s still some really important stuff you need to know about: like how the port-potties at the finish line of the Mille Miglia have shifters.

Just look at this sweet ride: sporty orange/red/grey interior color scheme, bucket-ish seat, and a nice big floor shifter. This is sporty Italian pooping at its best, people.

The way this thing works is interesting, especially for someone used to the usual crude American seat-over-a-hole-full-of-shit porta-potty. You relieve yourself, lavishly, onto that silver ‘tray’ there. It’s actually a sort of short conveyer belt, with a shiny silver mylar (?) belt. After you’ve produced your massive, coiled turd, photo’d it, Tweeted it, and are ready to commit it back to the earth, you grab the shift lever and pull, which sends your leavings over the edge of the belt and down into hell, or wherever.

While this happens, the belt is sprayed with some sort of cleanser/disinfectant, keeping the mylar shiny and skidmark-free.

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The result is maybe the finest non-plumbed porta-potty I’ve ever used. If you’re doing a global ports-potty tour, I must insist you go to Italy and try one of these shifter-crappers. They really are the Ferrari of plastic-booth shitting.