Illustration for article titled COTD: The COTD Jalopnik Deserves Edition

In The Dark Knight, Michael Cane plays Alfred, a butler-cum-wise man. Not to be confused with guy. Speaking to Bruce Wayne about the futility of attempting to find reason in chaos, he states some things are the way they are because they simply are that way. Why would thieves torch an S5 they couldn't steal? According to Victorious Secret, the reason doesn't matter.


A long time ago, I was in New York. My friends and I were working for the local dealerships. They were trying to buy the loyalty of customers with precious interiors. But their shipments were being raided in Long Island by a bandit. So, we went looking for the cars. But in six months, we never met anybody who traded with him. One day, I saw a child playing with an Audi the size of a Volkswagen. The bandit had simply been throwing them away.

Some men just think it is good sport. Some men aren't looking for anything logical like good handling or excellent engines. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with (because they think BMW is better). Some men just want to watch the aluminum und shteel burn.


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