COTD: Mother, Jugs and too much speed edition

So not every ambulance driver tries to break up a crosswalk full of nuns like Bill Cosby's character in "Mother, Jugs & Speed," but the real-life exploits of an EMT can be just as bizarre, as Jstas shared iin an epic thread spurred by the firefighters who took wrong-way drivers to task on Facebook:

We were also sued by a drunk guy who stepped out in front of the ambulance and got hit.

Some issues there:

- Drunk guy was drunk
- Drunk guy stepped out from between parked cars
- Drunk guy stepped out from between parked night.
- Drunk guy was jaywalking
- Drunk guy's face broke the rig's windshield and front end parts
- Drunk guy got blood on the rig
- The Bambalamps that hit him was responding to an emergency with lights and sirens on
- The Bambalamps had to stop, tone out of the call and tone out another squad to attend to the drunk guy
- Drunk guy was taken to the hospital by yet another Bambalamps due to the shattered windshield making the first Bambalamps un-drivable.
- The drunk guy got a ride to the hospital where he was checked out to be A-OK with minor scratches.
- Bambalamps was out of service for a week while the front end was fixed.

Drunk guy sued for injuries sustained when the ambulance hit him. Got to court and all the citations he was issued on scene were suspended pending the outcome of the civil case.

On scene, drunk got: impeding the process of an emergency vehicle responding to an emergency and failure to yield to an oncoming emergency vehicle.

During court, the judge went all Judge Judy on his ass. Threw out the case and the reviewed the penalties. Judge said "This isn't enough." Asked the captain how much the repairs to the ambulance cost. Then stated "Well, Mr. Slapnuts, since you were walking because you lost your license for multiple DUI's, it's safe to assume that you do not have car insurance. In lieu of that, the court has determined that you will pay for the damage to the ambulance yourself. If you need to work out a payment plan we will do that. If you fail to meet your payment plan, the township will levy a lien on your property and you will be given a standard time from to make arrears. If you do not do so, the town will send your property to Sheriff's Auction in order to obtain the past due amount. Furthermore, the officer was being kind to you. In addition to your reinstated "impeding process of an emergency vehicle" and "failure to yield" fines, the court sees fit to levy the following fines of:

- Jaywalking
- Public intoxication
- Endangering emergency response personnel
- Damaging city property

If you cannot pay these fines and fail to make arrangements, you will be held in jail until such time that you can do so. This case is closed, everyone have a nice day." *BANG* <— gavel noise

I almost cried it was so poetic! I wasn't even involved in the case, I just went to sit in the gallery and see how it all went down!


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Congratulations, Mr. Jstas, on COTD today! I applaud your story and would like to gift you with this classic Corvette which this lovely lady wearing a string will have in your driveway in a few days. I laughed at "Mr. Slapnuts."