COTD: Like An Intern Edition

Illustration for article titled COTD: Like An Intern Edition

I'm not sure what was the greatest moment in my life as an intern. I went through a few unpaid desk gigs, rubbing shoulders with important New York City architects one summer and moving museum cars another. Driving a Jaguar XKR convertible was definitely a high point, though.


I briefly got the keys to the 510 horsepower luxobarge after Ray Wert drove it around the proposed New Jersey Grand Prix course. As a fresh-out-of-college intern, I was thoroughly mind-fucked by the V8 engine and all the leather in the cabin. I think I inhaled too much leather fumes, because when I wrote a review, it was pretty much just a stream of expletives that never got published.

The takeaway from the whole experience (other than that 510 horsepower is a drug) was how bizarre it feels to own a car worth more than your life; to be sort of kind of not really in charge of something very important; to be the opposite of a boss; to be an intern.

When we brought up Toyota's disturbing promotion of the Camry's ‘like a boss' roadholding, Brian1321 chimed in with his own ‘like an intern' ownership story.

As I drive the road by the sewage run off creek, layers of mother natures erotic eruptions blast my windshield...and my '06 Wrangler handles it like an intern. The pothole riddled road crumples underneath the canopy of "Re-elect Mayor Sacco" signs making lesser cars sway and shimmy...but my '06 Wrangler death wobbles like an intern. A quick left hand turn as the sludge stream meanders begrudgingly, cutting through the concrete and whisking its shitty essence towards the local playground. The car in front of me takes the turn and continues on its way. As I see the passengers enjoying their Spongebob DVD, my '06 Wrangler misses the turn and flies towards the smelly waters and I think, "Yeah, it handled that like an intern."


Well, at least I didn't crash the Jag.

Photo Credit: Raphael Orlove



I smell a conspiracy.

Raph, Brian for your award... have a Magic Hat Encore Wheat IPA. Actually... Don't. It's like a overly bitter Hefe, but without the good parts of being bitter. No. Really. This was one of the worst beers I tried in 2012. And I had a lot of beers.

Anyway, congrats on your stream of consciousness COTD Brian. And Raph... ;-)