Making sense of a story that pivots on a he-said-he-said moment can be vexing. But, as Donald Rumsfeld said, "if you have a problem, make it bigger." Would turning to a hard-to-explain bit of quantum physics theory for an answer qualify as making the problem bigger? Certainly it qualifies as "making it funnier."
Gamecat235 wanted to know whether the man in the Man shot at, tasered and pepper-sprayed at Corvette Museum over a song story was shot or not shot or both at the same time. And so, he turned to one of the most difficult-to-explain brainiac "thought experiments" of all time. That is, the concept of Schrödinger's Cat, put forth by Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger in the 1930s. It's a difficult one to explain, unless you happen to be high and drunk on Rumplemintz and happen to be in a college dorm on a Tuesday night when you should be studying for finals. You can try and figure it out, and the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics behind it, on your own. Suffice to say, the cat's both alive and dead at the same time. As is the security guard in question, apparently.
So, was Schrodinger's Gunshot Victim shot or not?