Anyone who has studied music knows that Italian words show up everywhere (thanks Renaissance!). Lucky for you, all Jalopnik writers must attain at least 15 credit hours of C-level Italian or German before getting the job, so we can explain them to you. Forte: literally strong, meaning you should sing or play loudly. Piano: gentle, indicating when one should play softly. Pianissimo: the superlative of Piano meaning very soft. Legato: in Italian "tied together" but in music it informs the musician to play smoothly, as opposed to staccato. This will not only help you understand the name of the soon-to-be-released Kia Forte, it'll help you understand 13oostedwgn's COTD:
Man, if you're driving a Forte, you'll have to be pretty damn Legato to get a chick to touch your Pianissimo.
That was truly a Commenta Buffa, am I right? Ragazzi?