China Throws Down Gauntlet On Mobile Aquarium Tech

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You know how you've always wanted your car to look like the waiting room of a Beverly Hills orthodontist's office, but never thought it would be possible? Well, today is a fantastic day for you, because GAC (makers of the tweeter and sackbut-equipped Trumpchi) are showing the WitStar, and it's got an aquarium.

I know you aquaria enthusiasts have been reading rumors about this in Modern Aquarium Fetishist magazine for months, but seeing it in person is a totally new experience. The aquarium is the centerpiece of the quite radical WitStar concept car, which is (at least on paper, it's just a concept, after all) a hybrid gas/electric SUV-ish thing that they claim can go 62 miles on electrons and gets a 117 MPGe or some other big number they pretty much made up.


But who gives a shit — look at that interior. It's overdone, sure, but that's what a concept car that should be, and there's some good ideas stuck in here. Gullwing doors are always fun, and that wood (or wood-looking) flooring is something I'd really love to see go mainstream.


The WitStar (I'm not sure I get the name — maybe it's supposed to suggest a giant glowing ball of gas that delivers some really cutting bon mots?) is designed as an at least occasionally autonomous vehicle, and the interior design reflects that. That's why the driver's seat swivels to offer a full, unobstructed view of all those glorious fish, for example.

Guangzhou says the car is capable of autonomous driving using the now mundane array of cameras, radar, sonar, and other sensors, but any astute observer of automotive technology can tell you what's really going on here: the fish.


Yes, those aren't just oridinary fish. They're cybernetically-enhanced hyperfish, capable of receiving GPS signals and utilizing their instinctive fish-schooling behaviors to navigate chaotic traffic more effectively. The fish operate in a school of (minimum) 16, with outlier commands filtered out to insure safe autonomous driving. The cybernetic hyperfish method of autonomous driving is cutting-edge and arguably the best path for the future, and GAC is at the front of this icthylogical revolution.


So, remember the first time you saw a factory-equipped aquarium car. Within five years all our driving will be done by fish. You'll see.

Photo Credit: Alex Tillman