Car Reviews Need More Arrest Warrants

Illustration for article titled Car Reviews Need More Arrest Warrants

If someone handed me the keys to a 207 mph supercar, I know where I’d end up: jail.


Yep, it’d be hookers and blow for me if I had an orange McLaren 12C at my disposal. You can bet I would be hanging out the window, one hand giving the middle finger, the other spooning caviar into my mouth.

It wouldn’t be good business for McLaren to lend out cars for soon-to-be-imprisoned drivers, but really, that’s what we want them to do, as reader ComradeSlow pointed out when we saw EVO editor Nick Trott get to daily drive a press-fleet Macca.

Well Nick I'll need you to fill in the details but if by the end of six months, you haven't:

1. lost your license due to traffic infringement points

2. had your significant other and family leave you because you've become hopelessly detached and obsessed with the car

3. lost your job and forced employer to make the very uncomfortable call to McLaren requesting that they utilize their GPS locator to find a missing MP4

4. been photographed with hookers, DJ's, and drug dealers by the paparazzi and had this information used to track your whereabouts

5. been featured in a high speed chase segment on prime time TV in which the only reason you were stopped was because of previously mentioned GPS tracking, helicopters, a not so unlimited fuel reservoir, and/or border patrols of a foreign government

...then you weren't doing it right.

Ask yourself, don’t you think more car reviews should end in the national news?

Photo Credit: Tom Wolf


Congratulations, Mr. ComradeSlow, on today's COTD! I would like to gift you with a McLaren MP4 12C, which this lovely lady will bring to you in a few days.