I’m not sure what the hell people in Sabula, Iowa are doing, but they seem to have pissed off the Almighty an awful lot, because this infestation of shadflies (or mayflies, if you’re nasty) sure seems like some Biblical-grade plague shit. This video is from the Iowa DOT’s Facebook page, and it’s cringe-inducing.
The DOT has warned the people of Sabula (a town named after that camel-monster/podracer from the Star Wars prequels, sources tell me) to be careful when crossing the bridge, since all the crushed mayfly goo is making everything slick. They also have been plowing the shadflies away.
It’s not clear what happened to the officer who left the car in that video, presumably to arrest/intimidate some of the flies, but I think we can reasonably assume he was skeletonized in seconds.
So, to recap: Sabula, Iowa is gone. Dead to us. The flies have it. Maybe if we let them keep it, they’ll leave us alone.
Contact the author at firstname.lastname@example.org.