'BraaaAAAAP,' Said The New Corvette ZR1

The wind hushed through the trees. It was quiet—peaceful, even. But not for long.

It started out as a distant hum of thunder. “Bbbbbrrooom.” What was that? A bear, perhaps? A lion?

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Then the maelstrom howled closer. “Braaaaaaap.”

Tires screamed—shrieked—in protest, as they carried the wide body with the gaping front (perhaps but most likely of the new C7 Corvette ZR1) into view. “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” The murderous engine unleashed a dragon’s breath of a roar, drowning out the screech of the tires: “BRAAAAAAAAAAAAP!”

Why those weird exhaust pipes? you wondered, hands clapped over your ears, head tucked between your knees for fear of this nuclear fury. Why why why?

It’s because they apparently help with the noise regulations at the Nürburgring, according to Road & Track. But what about for the fear? What is being done about that? How will we sleep?

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About the author

Kristen Lee

Writer at Jalopnik and consumer of many noodles.