Sarah Foster is the owner/operator of a pair of 38JJ breasts that have recently received widespread commendation for saving her life when she was hit by a Mini Cooper at high speed. For the record, it was a female paramedic that referred to Foster’s breasts as “airbags,” not me.

Here’s what happened: Foster, her partner Marie, and their two children had pulled off the A1 motorway near Peterborough in the UK so Foster could take a walking break and have a smoke. They pulled into an area the British call a “lay-by,” which seems to be something similar to a US rest area — a small parking area off the highway designed just for this sort of walking and stretching and smoking sort of thing.

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While she was out of the car, a Mini Cooper going about 80 MPH crashed into the central barrier. The impact sent the Mini careening into the lay-by area, and right at Sara Foster and her magnificent breasts.

As the car impacted Foster, her breasts, sensing danger, leapt into action. The breasts absorbed most of the impact of Foster hitting the Mini’s windshield, which shattered, sending Sarah rolling over the top of the car, and landing, boobs first, onto the road.

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Her partner pulled her out of the road to safety, and when the paramedics arrived, they were astounded to find Foster relatively uninjured. As Foster told the Daily Mail:

‘The paramedic who treated me on the scene later told me I was really lucky to be alive and that I should be grateful for my airbags. That was the word she used.’

See? I told you that the paramedic called them “air bags,” not me. I know they’re not full of air! A kid on the playground told me.

At the hospital, Foster was found to have some cuts and a bit of knee ligament damage. Her attending doctors made it clear that had it not been for the cushioning and impact-absorbing qualities of her prodigious boobs, she likely would have been dead, or at least severely injured.

Reportedly, the NHTSA has started looking into requiring massive, glorious breasts for all motorists starting sometime in the 2020s.

Foster’s breasts were not available for comment as of press time.


Contact the author at jason@jalopnik.com.

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