Life is full of annoyances, like when the valet’s face lights up upon seeing the key to your McLaren, or when the mansion groundskeeper has the audacity to remind you that holidays exist. And for the love of everything that is good in the world, let’s not even talk about when the help accidentally spills alcohol on your designer clothes while trying to pour you a glass in the back of the car.
But, thankfully, after you’d fired too many people to count for that and just when you were about to give up all hope, BMW patented a bottoms-up-style drink filler to keep this nightmare from happening.
AutoGuide found the patent, and said the system works like a bottoms-up beer filler. A person sets a glass on the filler, the filler pops the bottom of the glass up, and fills it with a predetermined amount of drink from the bottom up rather than from the top down—avoiding spillage. The story also said the system has two drink reservoirs, because life is all about choices, and when choices fail you, it’s all about mixing the drinks together to increase the numbing effect.
But rather than a lousy beer glass, reminiscent of baseball games, plastic chairs and peanuts all over the ground, the BMW patent image shows a thin, decorative champagne flute with the filler attached to it. AutoGuide didn’t say whether the patent had any vehicles listed with it, but the most fitting choice is, of course, any car in the Rolls-Royce lineup—sure to be a scintillating reminder of the brand’s excellence and majesty.
Pour one out—or, should we say, “fill one up”—for all of those designer clothes, ruined by the fact that the chauffeur hit a pothole while the assistant poured your glass of red wine in the car. You never even got to wear that outfit once, which is all you would have ever worn it in the first place.
Can’t be seen wearing the same outfit twice, after all, just like you can’t be seen spilling alcohol in the car. It’s a sign of weakness.