Tomato, tomahto Read more

Thought as in past tense of think because each and every one of them was swayed by my brilliant take. Read more

Hey, Andrew likes the scooters. Remember, for everything one staffer hates there are others that like it. For instance, nearly everyone here thought my anti-sedan take was wrong. But unpopular opinions can be interesting! Read more

Hey I’ll have you know I write my garbage takes in spite of them, not at their insistence. Read more

I also think people’s jobs should rest solely on their headshots. But just to be safe, I’m going to personally recommend to the senior staff of Jalopnik that I be fired immediately. Read more

NOTE: I’m aware that the AMC Eagle is a thing and sorry for the mortal sin of not mentioning it. However, this article is about a future trend prediction and given that the Eagle inspired absolutely no followups for 30 years, I don’t think it really is worth mentioning as a precursor to a greater trend. /end rant. Read more

Unfortunately I don’t have access to the color original Read more

I must admit I did ask my photographer friend for a brighter, outdoor portrait that’s a bit more... me. So this picture isn’t long for this world, anyway. Read more

In my defense, I was negative 18 years old when that came out. And also I don’t think you can say it “inspired” the modern trend in any way. Read more

Okay so the impression I’m getting is the new photo is a move in the wrong direction. Read more

Yes. That’s why they must be exterminated. Read more

My life is colder now; colder and darker. Read more

The pics I’m good with, but the info may be tricky as I haven’t quite learned how to read. Read more

YE WITH THE RADDEST WHIP, SEND ME THY NAME Read more

DID SOMEBODY SAY BEATER TOWN CAR?

We all know the dreadful feeling of going to a luxury automobile-sponsored polo event and spotting some commoner in a non-floral dress. Read more

*ignoring Read more

pls send resume to press@rolls-roycemotorcars.com immediately Read more

My Lincoln Town Car, which causes nothing but pain and looks ridiculous

Always being wrong has conditioned me to take criticism well. Read more