Given the logical trap you’ve set up, I can’t answer that without creating a paradox. Read more

But that’s not a problem with the cars themselves, it’s our perceptions that are wrong. Read more

I emerged from Cleveland but I can’t speak for any other idiots Read more

That might become my new bio: The Pseudonym Jalopnik writers use for their worst takes. Read more

You’re right that I should have clarified, but I started the reviews section over at CNBC and still write for them on the weekends. So it’s in the neighborhood of 50ish cars tested, though not ever review has gone up. Read more

yeah but if she ever replied to my comments about iCarly fan theories I’d totally read her stuff more often Read more

Weenies. Read more

I want wagons and sedans to switch. Almost everyone gets a wagon, but the occasional sedan comes to market and is heralded for being unique. That’s my vision for Hogan’s America. Read more

Let me say one thing for the record: I vehemently support protecting porcelain ferrets at all costs, which is why I included that exception. Read more

Listen, I’m full of garbage takes and people liking me was never going to last long. But those advantages you mention are tiny! Yes they’re quieter and more aerodynamic, but by a margin that’s likely imperceptible to your wallet or ears with today’s sculpting and insulation. Read more

Ahhh! I forgot about minivans. Yes, minivans are fantastic and I would wheel the hell out of an Odyssey Elite. Read more

Which proves the point that the best sedans are the least sedan-like! Read more

Okay fine add “gold bar salesmen” to the list of prospective sedan buyers. But if theft avoidance is the only priority, best board up your windows. Read more

I’m here for a good time not a long time. Read more

Writer, errand boy, space heater. I do it all. Read more

The best sedans aren’t sedans Read more

I wanted to say everyone on sale, but I couldn’t figure out how to verify that. Anyway, I’ve reviewed stuff for a year or so over at CNBC.com/mack-hogan Read more

Yeah this guy gets it. Read more

The egregious and terrible nature of the core take here almost distracts from the absolutely heinous addendum about the best kind of pizza. Read more

Okay trying for a third time because my comments were weirdly being sucked into the “pending approval” abyss. Read more