POW! He was decapitated. They found his head over by the snowcone concession. A few days after that, I open up the mail and there's a pamphlet in there, from Pueblo, Colorado. And it's addressed to Bill Jr.
Apparently, other things are afoot in Pueblo, as well. To wit, Nicole Uribe, Irene Lerma and her husband Jose-Juan Lerma are being held on $50,000 bail after Uribe offered the Lermas a five-month-old child in exchange for the down payment on a Dodge Intrepid. God, if that kid ever finds out his mom only thought him worth part of an obsolete '90s Dodge sedan, self-esteem issues are gonna dog him for the rest of his life. If it were us, we might feel compelled to change our name to "Cab Forward" later in life.
Woman accused of using infant as car down payment [CNN]
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I've Noticed This Peel P50 Can Also Be Worn as a Hat! [Internal]