David August Johnson (emphatically no relation) smacked his Murcielago into five parked cars in Santa Monica earlier today. Johnson was booked on a suspected DUI and given a clean bill of health at an area hospital. The Lamborghini, however, appears to be totaled. From this day forward, we highly recommend that the only David Johnsons the Audi unit allow to pilot their vehicles have a "G" for a middle initial. This "A" business is simply no good. No good, we say.
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