Ah, the ideal first date! Go in your Studebaker Hawk to see where the chemtrails come from, so you can both really huff the freshness! The mind-control feels so much crisper when it’s fresh from the plane!

Have a great weekend, pals.

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About the author

Jason Torchinsky

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus • Not-so-running: 1973 Reliant Scimitar, 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!)