Ever have one of those days where you get up, trudge out to your car, and find thousands and thousands of flying, stinging animals all crammed on it? No? Then your life has one massive, non-buzzing advantage over Gwen Gayden.

Gayden, whose alliterative name reminds me of a superhero's secret identity, walked out Saturday morning to her Dodge truck and found 8,000 honeybees clinging to the tire in a massive, pendulous, scrotal-looking mass of potential misery. Look at that; that's a terrifying thing to see hanging off your car.


Gayden called animal control, who, unable to help, presumably faked a wrong number and didn't answer the phone for the rest of the day. Eventually, she contacted a local news channel, KHOU 11, who called up someone called the "Pest Guru" who calmly took care of the situation with such high-tech equipment as a cardboard box and a little broom. Where do they get those wonderful toys?

The Pest Guru speculated that the bees were drawn to the truck's maroon color, which I never realized attracted bees. So, for those of you planning to go outdoors this summer (unlikely, but still), stay the hell away from anything maroon.

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