I hope everyone bought stock in the Bugs-sawing-off-Florida and various facepalm GIFs, because they're about to be all over this page. The Mayor of St.Petersburg, Florida had to pause in the middle of a forum about crime to remind everyone not to leave their damn keys in their cars.

The reason he had to give that live-action PSA is because 60% of car thefts in the city have been due to keys left in the car, or even right in the ignition. And the problem's getting worse. For this year, out of 551 cars stolen so far, 460 have had the keys left somewhere in the vehicle. That comes to 83.4%.

Police say the thefts are crimes of opportunity, with 96% of the cars recovered later when the cars run out of gas, or the thieves, presumably, get tired of it and just hop into another vehicle with the keys happily dangling out of the ignition. Because they're everywhere.

Florida's even made a little video for people to remind them to take their freaking keys with them. It features the silent-movie-eque antics of Willie Everlearn (spit take) and is presumably targeted at the centenarians that make up the (assumed) majority of Florida's population.

It must be really maddening to be Chuck Harmon, police chief of St.Petersburg. He's probably had to have numerous facial-reconstructive surgeries from all the facepalming he does as he receives call after call from people whose cars were taken with keys in them. There must be more people not reporting these crimes out of shame, I'd imagine, too.


So, everyone call your grandmas and grandpas and bubbies and nanas and pawpaws as soon as possible, and tell them, please, take the key with you. Or we'll put you in a home.

(Source: Politifact, and thanks, Wayne!)