Photo: Guillaume Vachey from Chalon sur Saone, France, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons
Your bag is packed. Your route is set. You’ve got your sights set on the horizon, and all the time in the world to get there. All you need is a car, a chariot to parts unknown, a steadfast companion with which to enjoy a true road trip. Just, if you can, try not to make it one of these.
Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide
2 / 17
Any Convertible
Any Convertible
Photo: Dennis Elzinga, CC BY 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons
Convertibles. I don’t care if it’s a Mustang convertible, the Mitsu Eclipse convertible I once had as a rental, or a Jeep with the soft top. The road noise and cowl rattles will quite literally drive you insane. And when it starts pouring rain, even if you’re lucky enough to no have any leaks, the noise of a driving thunderstorm on that top is maddening. Forget even trying to listen to the radio...
Advertisement
Counterpoint: the pitter-patter of raindrops on a convertible top is one of the greatest sounds in this world. In a thunderstorm, with torrential rain and crashes of thunder and lightning, it’s even better.
Photo: Artaxerxes, CC BY-SA 4.0 , via Wikimedia Commons
26' moving van.
A huge motorhome is also large, thirsty and slow, but at least you can sleep in it.
Advertisement
If you’re moving all your earthly possessions, it’s not unreasonable to think a bed (or at least a mattress) would be in the back of that truck. Why can’t you sleep in it? It may not be comfortable, but it seems at least possible.
Photo: Bull-Doser, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
I know there will be all sorts of obscure cars and modified this or that... but for a high volume (and modern) car it’s the Wrangler. Yes, people love them, and yes, they are capable for a specific purpose. But, driving a lot of highway miles in one is simply awful. To be fair, any highway miles in one isn’t very fun. (I’m certain someone will chime in about how theirs it’s “great” on the highway, either you have the wrong tires for a Wrangler or you’ve never driven another car).
Advertisement
One of the scariest driving experiences of my life was trying to keep up with a Miata on the highway (who had navigation, and was leading me home) in a JK Wrangler. They’re great for bopping around town with your buds, roof down and tunes blasting, but less comfortable on the highway.
Photo: Eli Duke, CC BY-SA 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons
The back seat of an old school “extra cab” compact pickup (such as the OG Ranger or Tacoma)
Advertisement
The front seats of those old trucks are probably great for soaking up long highway miles. The back seats, however, are best enjoyed briefly and sparingly.
Photo: IFCAR, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
Saturn S-Series
When I was a child and my grandparents stopped by to go on long driving trips I was sandwiched in the back seat between my parents and my parents sat up front.
I don’t understand why they didn’t rent a van when my grandparents stopped by. Thankfully my parents learned this mistake and rented a Ford Galaxy when I went to a trip up to Scotland with my parents and grandparents.
Advertisement
Credit where credit is due for Saturn, this design has aged surprisingly well. At least you have a lot of visibility out the sides while you’re being crushed between the other back seat passengers.
Photo: BrokenSphere, CC BY-SA 3.0 , via Wikimedia Commons
I don’t think it’s about cramped or spacious - it’s about reliability. If you sit there worried that your car will break down in a foreign area with terrible mechanics who will scam you - you won’t enjoy your trip
Advertisement
This is doubly true for anything that requires specific knowledge, experience, or parts to fix. You’ll find a Civic alternator on the shelf of any NAPA in the country, but you’re unlikely to just stumble across apex seals while out on the road.
Photo: computermusic1999 (Nicholas Osorio), CC BY-SA 4.0 , via Wikimedia Commons
Truck and van-based class C motorhomes are the worst.
Ironic since they’re vehicles for exploring the great outdoors, but they’re glorified U-Haul trucks. I rented a nearly new one during the pandemic to get out of town for a bit, and hated every second of driving it. They’re built like crap out of cheap materials and everything rattles. The wind noise at speed was deafening and it sounded like a snare drum when it rained. I was constantly see-sawing at the wheel to keep it in the lane as if I was in a B&W movie from the 40's. And thank God we went when fuel prices were normal. A V-10 gasoline engine is completely stupid in an RV. I managed 8 mpg.
Advertisement
It seems like “room to sleep in the back” doesn’t make up for all the moving truck’s faults. In fact, the added size and weight may even make a motorhome worse than a typical box truck.
Photo: Harderthanfish, CC BY-SA 4.0 , via Wikimedia Commons
I rented a silver Buick Century A-body for a trip from Atlanta to NJ and back, thinking it would a nice highway cruiser.
Little did I know it had the 2.5L four under the hood - a poor choice for such a large car. It was noisy and thrashy above 70mph an struggled to get 22mpg on the highway. The ride was okay on straight smooth roads, but garbage on even slightly imperfect pavement. And I could never find a comfortable seating position.
The fact that it was a Budget rental with 45K miles on the odometer didn’t help.
Worst of all, i managed to lose the car in a sea of other silver/grey sedans in a hotel parking lot. I woke up the first morning and literally forgot what I had rented until I looked at the keyfob and even then I had to set off the alarm to find the car.
Advertisement
Rented cars are always harder to find in parking lots. You aren’t used to looking for that make, model, and color, and it’s easy to pass right over the exact car you should be getting in. Something as generic as a silver Century? Good luck.
Photo: Karrmann, CC BY-SA 3.0 , via Wikimedia Commons
4 college aged guys packed into a Geo Metro with all our stuff, on a trip to Canada and back.
There were times pushing the pedal to the floor wouldn’t get us up to speed with everyone else on the freeway. If there was even a slight uphill, we were slowing down. (1.0L 3-Cyl with a whopping 50HP)
Advertisement
I have to wonder, with all those people and all that equipment, how close you got to overloading the poor little Metro. I can’t seem to find a gross weight rating for the Geo, but I can’t imagine it’s meant to haul much.
Photo: Ank Kumar, CC BY-SA 4.0 , via Wikimedia Commons
Supercars, for all the same reasons as the Isetta (minus the slowness)?
Supercars are, by now, likely more comfortable, spacious, and road-trippable than the Isetta. As a whole, though, they still pale in comparison to any normal hatchback.
Photo: Charles01, CC BY-SA 4.0 , via Wikimedia Commons
My 2004 Ford Ka 1.6. An exceptionally fun and efficient car in the city and on the twisties leading to my summerhouse, but a nightmare on long straight roads. Doing 120 km/h would mean about 4000 rpm, which led to barely 10 km/l. Roomy enough for 2 people, tops. Anymore would be insane.
Advertisement
Anything without highway gearing is going to be a struggle. My last three cars have sat at or above 3,000 RPM on the highway, and let me tell you: It is suboptimal.
I’d need a special commercial license to drive it, as its GVWR (Gross vehicle weight rating= vehice weight + max payload) exceeds 3500 kg. It would take a lot of time and a thousand (or two) to get that license.
I could never drive faster than 90 kmh (56 mph) legally, as its GVWR exceeds 3500 kg.
It will be hard to park, as it will not fit regular spots
It will be very expensive to run
All of these rules are good. Trucks are too big, always getting bigger, and that size comes with any number of costs. The U.S. should adopt these rules too.