So Audi And Fiat Are In This Big Fight Over The Names 'Q2' And 'Q4'

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This is what happens when everyone switches to alphanumeric names for cars. After a while, you start running out of them.

The UK's Car magazine reports that as part of their aggressive $30 billion expansion plans, Audi is looking to add more crossovers to their lineup. In a perfect world they would like to lock down the trademarks for Q1 through Q9.

The problem is that Fiat Chrysler already owns Q2 and Q4, and Audi's not happy about that. Alfa Romeo doesn't use the badges anymore, but they did to denote the drivetrain on their 159 sedan — the 159 Q4 had all-wheel drive.

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Audi has approached Fiat and asked them grant them the names, but the Italians aren't budging, the magazine reports. This means that at the moment, Audi's kind of stuck if they want a car that slots between the new Q3 and the hot-selling Q5. The horror!

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Will Sergio Marchionne have a change of heart? Only if there's something in it for him:

The Italo-Canadian chairman may not be categorically opposed to selling the rights to the two model designations his premium brand no longer needs (and probably never did), but he will reportedly pull out all the stops in order to not strike a deal with arch-enemy VW scion Ferdinand Piech and his lot - which puts Audi in a naming dilemma.

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None of this would have happened if cars had real names. Just sayin'.