Do you think you can sell a car just by offering a good price? THINK AGAIN, SONNY BOY.
10.) Buy Our Car Because Free Guns
Yep, free guns with cars. It's more common than every bi-coastal car buyer reading this thinks.
Suggested By: Stig-a-saw-us-wrecks and seoultrain, Photo Credit: Facebook
9.) Buy Our Car Because Free Car
A few years back, a number of dealers offered a free Kia Rio with the purchase of a Kia Minivan. Back in the late '50s, reader Lamborweenie says a Cadillac dealer would stick an entire Isetta in the trunk and give it away with the full-sizer.
Suggested By: ncasolo and Lamborweenie, Photo Credit: Kia
8.) Buy Our Car Because We Paid This Washed-Up Celeb
There are tons of these and they're all terrible, but none are better/worse than Gary Busey.
Suggested By: drdude
7.) Buy Our Car Because Obama
Why is it always a Kia dealer?
Suggested By: AutomatchTom
6.) Buy Our Car Because They're On Sale (They're Not On Sale)
Reader kasheed has actually works in the dealership world, and explained just what's going on with those stupid S-A-L-E posters propping up the hoods of your local used car emporium.
Here's a challenge for you: walk into any car dealership in America and ask the first salesperson you speak to "hey are you guys having a sale today?" If the answer is anything other than "of course!" or "we're always having a big sale here!" then congratulations, you just met the dumbest car salesperson in America.
This is the one that I have to do. I trudge out to the front line every Saturday at 8:30 with 4 car keys (usually picking out something with a decently heavy hood, and Xenu forbid we have a freaking SMART car on the lot), hoping whatever I selected doesn't have some sort of oddly positioned/leaky piston prop rod. I wedge the signs in, hoping for the thousandth time that I haven't managed to misspell "SALE" or that the wind won't pick up today. Ever seen a grown man chase a large S down the road? It's not pretty.
Inevitably, the first person on the lot will want to test drive the car with the S in the hood (which is immediately discarded in the grass) so we'll spend the rest of the day inviting people in for a beer with their test drive.
Suggested By: kasheed, Photo Credit: Shutterstock
5.) Buy Our Car Because We Smashed It Up Already
One Chevy dealer in the '70s got a head start on its customers' fender benders, and became a bit of a local hero for it, as reader solracer explains.
Dick Balch owned a Chevrolet dealership in Federal Way, Washington in the 1970's. He was famous for his 10-second commercials where he'd make some witty comment and then smash a new car's windshield or fender while laughing like a maniac. It worked, sales soared and people would even buy the cars with the dent because it was cool.
Suggested By: solracer
4.) Buy Our Cars Because Bananas
This gimmick from the '60s backfired on the dealer, as sm70 explains.
A Connecticut Pontiac dealer put out an ad marketing a new car for 1,395 bananas as a joke. A woman took them up on that offer, brought in said number of bananas for a 1962 Tempest, and they sold her the car for it. A weirder trade I cannot think of.
Suggested By: sm70, Photo Credit: OldCarBrochures
3.) Buy Our Car Or The Terrorists Win
Back in 2006, one Mitsubishi dealer decided to run a "Fatwa Friday" sale, and declared a "jihad on high prices." This contemporary news report explains how it all went down.
The salesforce "will be wearing burqas all weekend long." One of the featured vehicles "can comfortably seat up to 12 jihadists in the back," he says.
"Our prices are lower than the evildoers' every day. Just ask the pope!" the ad continues. "Friday is fatwa Friday, with free rubber swords for the kiddies."
Suggested By: crowmolly, Photo Credit: AP
2.) Buy Our Car Because I'm Upside Down On A Plane
All car dealer ads are ridiculous, but none are more ridiculous than SoCal's legendary Cal Worthington. Rest in peace, Cal. Rest in peace, rest in peace, rest in peace.
Suggested By: SeniorVerde
1.) Buy Our Car Because Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Man
Every blow-up mascot is as unashamedly pointless as the next, from fat dudes in tightie whities to gorillas to wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube men.
Suggested By: everyone, Photo Credit: Family Guy via thebeard78
Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!
Top Photo Credit: Family Guy via Imgur