I've got a bone to pick with you, America. And this time it's not over the usual reasons like drone strikes, credit default swaps, various Kardashians, or how the breakfasts at IHOP don't look nearly as appetizing as the photos in the menus. It's over the cars you chose to buy in 2013.
If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would I, too? Well, that depends—how sweet is the jump? Can I borrow the wagon I use for rallycross shenanigans? And, uh, what am I landing on? I can't swim, dude.
Now that you've seen our most popular stories from 2013 we thought you'd like to see the stories that are notable for reasons other than pleasing some sort of Facebook algorithm. This year had everything: Mormon scammers, European adventures, and Beetles both stolen and flipped.
I make a lot of gifs working for Jalopnik. Here are the best/worst/most memorable animations I made in 2013.
It's almost the end of the year, which means it's time we look back at our biggest and best stories. There's been drama, there's been crime, and there's been at least one story about releasing your bowels in a tiny private jet. Here are this year's most read stories.
2013 was a great year for racing. We had a four-time world champion. The nicest guy in racing won the Indy 500. Some guy named Robby formed what is perhaps the best racing series of all time, and it's brand new. Oh, and a
Frenchman Italian got slapped, hilariously. These are the craziest racing moments of 2013.
In 2012 we introduced our numbered rating system to take on all the car reviews out there that just straight up suck. Our formula was used for the entire year for the first time ever in 2013, and these are the cars that dominated the rankings.
We post tons of great images on Gizmodo, from space to science to art to design. Here's a treasure trove of our very favorites that proves that 2013 was, if nothing else, eye-catching.
I've been writing for Jalopnik since September 2011, but only this year were my superiors dumb enough to let me drive a number of cars that weren't mine.
While 2013 didn't herald a widespread shift to two-stroke rear-engine cars like your Jalopnik staff hoped it would, it ended up being a significant year for cars. New tech was introduced, old performance barriers were shattered, and the American car companies brought out their strongest products in decades.
This has been a banner year. Four Lamborghinis. Four Porsches. Three Corvettes. Two Aston Martins. Two Ferraris. A Viper. And the most spectacular Miata you can imagine. I never want to wake up from this coma that I'm clearly in.
There's really only one way to know if a certain car is worth your time and money: drive it. And this year, I got to drive a whole lot of cars. Some were incredible, some were boring, some were terrible, some were terrifying. I'm happy to say I didn't drive any of them off a cliff. Go me!
You may not have realized it, but today is the biggest betting day for Vegas bookmakers: The day I announce my Best and Worst Cars I've Driven this year. Fortunes will be made or broken today, pals, so I hope you bet well. This was a tricky year to pick from, since I drove so many interesting cars.
Some blessed, benevolent soul who we only know as YouTube user Eric S has gone and created what will undoubtedly be the best 11 minutes and 38 seconds of your day—a compilation video of the best Vines of 2013 so far. And you're going to wish it never had to end.