You'll Probably Get Kicked Out Of The New Brabus Store In London

Illustration for article titled Youll Probably Get Kicked Out Of The New Brabus Store In London
Truck YeahThe trucks are good!

Still relentlessly crapping out glittery shit like Hedonism Bot with explosive diarrhea, Brabus has built a "flagship shop" in London. There you can look their tasteful vehicles (don't touch, peasant!), sip some espresso (better not call it x-presso... peasant), and potentially leave five hundred grand poorer.

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Surely you remember Brabus; champions of automotive excess with toys like a twin-turbo G-Wagen and that Fast & Furious-style Range Rover Sport.

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The store opened May 15th on Park Lane in London's Mayfair neighborhood. Would you believe Brabus already has stores in 106 countries, for no possible reason besides waving their B-emblazoned balls in the faces of the proletariat?

Illustration for article titled Youll Probably Get Kicked Out Of The New Brabus Store In London

It blows my mind that it makes sense for Brabus to have that big of a brick-and-mortar footprint. Their sales consultants, who are trained at Brabus' Bottrop, Germany headquarters, must waste so much time entertaining plebeians going in there to push buttons and get peace-sign pictures in front of the six-wheeled G-Wagen.

Illustration for article titled Youll Probably Get Kicked Out Of The New Brabus Store In London
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But who am I to question the unwavering wisdom of the folks who make Mercedes' loudest offering even more ostentatious?

Looks like they've pretty much got all the toys; TV (why look at cars when you can watch the news), a decent-looking coffee machine (nothing feels more premium than waiting-room coffee), and brightly-colored handkerchiefs for your sneezing convenience!

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Illustration for article titled Youll Probably Get Kicked Out Of The New Brabus Store In London

Who's been to one of these Brabus shops, and how much fun did they let you have in there?

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Images: Brabus

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DISCUSSION

macanamera
macanamera

Don't you touch this, Brabus. DONT YOU TOUCH IT