Wife Busts Tony Kanaan's Balls After Qualifying Behind Danica Patrick

Illustration for article titled Wife Busts Tony Kanaan's Balls After Qualifying Behind Danica Patrick

She's everywhere these days - Danica Patrick is the Valentina Vladimirovna Tereshkova of open wheel racing and everyone wants a piece of the moment. Well, maybe except teammate Tony Kanaan and his wife. A quick item at Automobile relays a phone call from Kanaan's pregnant wife after he qualified third and behind Patrick at the last Mid-Ohio IRL race. When she heard about the result, she had a question for him:

"Could you do me a favor? In our motor home, in the bedroom, go to my closet. All the way in the back of the closet, there's a blue dress. Maybe you should wear it next time you qualify!"

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Man, that's cold. She knows Tony looks so much better in red dresses. When asked for a comment, Kanaan replied by saying "Why do I look like Vin Diesel?" [AutomobileMag] photo source AP

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Rob Emslie

Tony to his wife:

"Honey, I think it's time I tell you, I mean it's really better in the long run that you know. You know all those times I've been away from home, traveling from city to city, staying in a different hotel room every night? And you know how I've been telling you that all those times that I was "racing"?

Well, all those times... I've really been F**king Matt Damon."