Alright that’s it, shut the doors and lock this shit up because Special Editions are over. As evidence I submit the Toyota Corolla Altis ESport Nurburgring Edition; a red-seat-piping package commemorating a 7th place finish in a Nurburgring race, apparently.
AutoBlog tells us this “Corolla Altis” is a popular Corolla variant in Southeast Asia, and we can extrapolate the “ESport” is the disproportionally expensive version with a body-colored lip kit and fog lights.
This Nurburgring Edition, trotted out at the 2015 Bangkok Auto Show, adds spoilers, a black grille, LED blinglights, red seat trim, suspension, and what the hell am I doing still writing about this?
I used to be an automaker apologist when it came to their relentless conveyor belt of pointless Special Edition vehicles and weird half-assed attempts at cross-branding. Slap a Bass Pro Shops sticker on a Tundra to help dealerships make a few bucks? Sure. A Chevy Silverado co-badged with Costco’s store brand? I mean, I don’t get it but at least it’s... inoffensive.
But with this Nurburgring Edition Corolla business, Toyota’s gone killed a bad joke dead and they should have to sit in the corner to think about what they’ve done.
The Nurburgring is special to car people. Arbitrary or not, ‘Ring performance is a standard many of us enthusiasts understand and respect. A very keystone in our imagined community.
Toyota thinks they can come up in here and make us all look like a bunch of assholes by stealing that thunder for their front-drive CVT because it’s grounded-to-the-ground? Hell no, get off my lawn.
Do special editions that make a mockery of your interests offend you? I’m picturing football fans getting worked right up over this random dealership’s idea for an “Aaron Rodgers F-150,” but maybe I just need to get my rage in check.
Images via Toyota.