What Would You Drive If You Were An Asshole?

We may earn a commission from links on this page.

I often find myself attracted to a certain car and then, on reflection, decide only an asshole could drive one. Pop your collar, put on some yachting shoes and answer: what would you drive if you were an asshole?

Oh, to be such a huge ass I'd be able to drive a Hummer H2. It's big, it looks tough, it's mostly pointless. The discerning driver picks up a Hummer H3 because of its off-road prowess and sturdy design. The driver who goes to 18+ clubs to meet legal high school girls drives an H2. It's a car that screams "I care about no one but myself." It says "I'm going to snag a vehicle that can transport five adults but always drive alone." It's made to look like a military vehicle, but is rarely driven by anyone selfless enough to serve. It is, in so many ways, the asshole's favorite transportation.

Don't agree? If you were the quintessential asshole what car would you slide your Ed Hardy-covered self into?

Advertisement

(QOTD is your chance to answer the day's most pressing automotive questions and experience the opinions of the insightful insiders, practicing pundits and gleeful gearheads that make up the Jalopnik commentariat. If you've got a suggestion for a good "Question Of the Day" send an email to tips at jalopnik dot com.)