I enjoy a nice cross-country road trip, but I’m going to be honest — nothing sucks quite as bad as arriving in a beautiful part of the country only to realize that all of its drivers are assholes. I want to know: in your opinion, what state has the worst drivers?
For me, it’s hard to say, because it kind of depends on how we define ‘worst.’ In Texas, there are far too many people who use the left lane for driving 15 mph under the speed limit, which results in far too many jackasses driving 25 over to weave between cars in the right and middle lanes. It also feels like the rubbernecking in this state goes to the extreme; I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stumbled on a mysterious highway slowdown only for it to turn out to be because various drivers decided that they had to slow down and look at that bag on the side of the road, well off anywhere you’d need to drive.
But then I think about Pennsylvania, where drivers seem to have no fear. Is it because of the state’s eternally shitty roads? Does the existence of the confusing streets of Philadelphia transform everyone into a menace? I wish I knew the answer to that question, but despite the fact that I only lived eight miles from downtown Philly, I learned very early on that I have no interest in driving my car there because there was a high likelihood I’d hit a five-way intersection where every car decides it has the right of way. And getting Ubers to my appointments in the city remains the only time I’ve gotten car sick since I was three.
And then I consider Virginia. Every time I drive through that state, it seems like there are also five million trucks on the road at the same time, all of whom are engaging in some sort of pissing match to see who can pass one another at the slowest possible speed. I can’t remember the last time I was so enraged.
(An honorable mention goes to the drivers of Ontario, who may not be Americans but who drive like fools.)
What’s most impressive is that I have yet to drive through every state, so I have no idea how bad drivers are in, say, California. I’ve been, but I’ve never driven there. What horrors await me in the rest of America? I truly cannot say.