Asshats! Like their cousins the douchebags and the dudebros, asshats have a tendency to ruin everything they're involved in, from outdoor music festivals to the simple act of parking.

I was pretty floored when I saw the way this asshat parked his BMW earlier this week. I mean, look at that car — it looks to me like a mid-2000s BMW 328i. It's a nice car, for sure, but it's nothing truly special. And owning one certainly doesn't justify that kind of parking job.

But what kind of car does? Here's my question to you fine people this weekend: what kind of car would make you park like an asshat? It would have to be something pretty special, not just a garden variety 328i you got at Carmax for the price of a new Honda Civic.

I think that if I owned a Ferrari 250 GTO, going to the grocery store would be hard. I would have to park it as far away from the minivans and family sedans as I possibly could for fear that some careless idiot (or one of their mouth-breather children!) would dent it.


If that didn't work, I'd probably be tempted to park it across three handicapped spaces. And if anyone complained about it, I'd be all like, "Stop being so poor, stupidface," or something equally clever like that. (Being a Ferrari owner has a strange effect on your personality, I'm told.)

Of course, the "I own a classic Ferrari" excuse rarely works on meter maids or the cops, so maybe the minivan driver would have the last laugh after all. That's the thing about being an asshat: you don't get away with it for long before the universe decides to straighten you out.

So what car would make you park in irresponsible and possibly illegal way?

Photo credit AgentAkit