Whale-tail Porsche? Check. Mustache? Check.

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Apparently, there really was a decade called the '80s. And in this decade, a professional BMX rider named Woody Itson advertised not a Porsche 911 convertible, but a Hutch Trick Star bicycle.

If you’re just as unwell-read about BMX professionals as I am, you can catch up on Mr. Itson right here. Growing a head of hair and a mustache to match his will take significantly more time but is well worth the effort.