Weekend Motorsports Roundup, March 22-23, 2014

Illustration for article titled Weekend Motorsports Roundup, March 22-23, 2014

Welcome to the Jalopnik Weekend Motorsports Roundup, where we let you know what's going on in the world of racing, where you can see it, and where you can talk about it all in one convenient place. Where else would you want to spend your weekend?

Nationwide Series fans, we need to talk. Sprint Cup, Camping World Truck Series fans, this isn't about you. You're free to go. But Nationwide fans, this is serious.

(This isn't serious. We can laugh among friends. Seriously, it's not serious.)

Your race, this weekend, which I'm sure will be very lovely, in Southern California, is called the "Nationwide Series TreatMyClot.com 300." Yes, the Treat My Clot Dot Com Three Hundred.


Now, I understand the necessity and importance of sponsor money in racing. Where it comes from often matters a lot less then the name on it. The bears that really love soft toilet paper need some ad space? Smack it on the hood. Softest stuff for wiping your butt with in the world. Carrot Top wants to throw you some money? Smack his goofy roided-up face on the doors. Never heard a funnier prop comic in my life.

Sure, it doesn't say much about you, the driver. People get where you're coming from on that. But when ad deals are being considered for entire races, or TV buys, different factors come into play. Factors like demographics. You can't just take any sponsorship money. It's got to be the right sponsorship money.

This weekend's Sprint Cup race is the Auto Club 400. The Auto Club of Southern California is a great sponsor for race, because they are, ostensibly, a car club, and this is, ostensibly, a car race. It follows the FoodCity 500, which, while not a great name, is sort of for everybody. Because everybody needs groceries at some point or another, in life.

This week's Nationwide race, as I said earlier, is the TreatMyClot.com 300. Last weekend's race was the Drive To Stop Diabetes 300.


You can probably tell where I'm going with this.

Both heart disease and diabetes are wonderful things to combat. Combined, they kill millions every year, and I love people, so the more people that aren't being killed, the better. But they're both brought on by certain lifestyle factors. Poor eating habits, a lack of exercise, that sort of thing.


I'm not one to be lecturing, however, and I'm not a doctor, so what you eat and what you smoke are really your own things. You do what you like.

But Nationwide Series, what the hell? This double-whammy of medically-induced sponsorship deals is a little strange. Especially since the pharmaceutical duo seems to be exclusive to your series. What is it about your fans, that are fans of your series and your series only, makes sponsors of drugs for fat and old people flock to you?


Do funnel cake sales stop and end when Kyle Busch starts up and when he finishes on Saturday? Does the all-you-can-eat bacon funhouse cease to exist at midnight on Sunday?

Nationwide Series, I'm worried about you. Sprint Cup is sponsored by banks and telecommunications companies, and the Camping World Truck Series has an outdoor activity, "camping," right there in the name. Those sound like healthy, active lifestyles, or at least financially secure ones.


Nationwide Series, call me. Or rather, call a nutritionist.

Because this is about more than sponsorship dollars. This is about saving lives.

(This is not about saving lives. This is about poking some good-natured fun. Never change, Nationwide.)


As always, let us know about anything we missed, or about good livestreams out there, in the comments.

NASCAR Sprint Cup Auto Club 400 Practice

Auto Club Speedway

Fontana, California

12:30 PM Saturday on FS1

NASCAR Nationwide Series TreatMyClot.com 300 Qualifying

Auto Club Speedway

Fontana, California

1:30 PM Saturday on FS1

NASCAR Sprint Cup Auto Club 400 Final Practice

Auto Club Speedway

Fontana, California

3:30 PM Saturday on FS1

NASCAR Nationwide Series TreatMyClot.com 300

Auto Club Speedway

Fontana, California

4:30 PM Saturday on ESPN

AMA Supercross Toronto

Rogers Centre

Toronto, Ontario

7:30 PM on FS1

NASCAR Sprint Cup Auto Club 400

Auto Club Speedway

Fontana, California

2:30 PM Sunday on FOX

MotoGP Grand Prix of Qatar

Losail International Circuit

Lusail, Qatar

2:30 PM Sunday on FS1

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So NASCAR or bikes.

I'l just wait for next weekend.