“And whatever you do, it’s going on Facebook,” the drunk passenger shouted. He is absolutely right about that.

Michael Kerr was on an hour-long American Airlines flight to Charlotte from Lexington, Kentucky, last week, when he decided it’d be a good idea to have three whiskeys, according to the Charlotte Observer:

As the plane taxied to a gate at Charlotte Douglas International, Kerr ignored flight crew orders and got out of his seat, the affidavit says. When an attendant interceded, Kerr threatened to break her jaw.

Matters deteriorated from there.

Matters deteriorated? You don’t say.

Kerr can be heard telling one of the pilots of the airplane to move, to which the pilot (who will surely be sainted for this one) politely informs him to “take a seat, sir.” He then tries squeezing past the poor flight attendant he’d been allegedly been harassing, before just railroading her in a desperate attempt to go somewhere.


It’s not clear where exactly he wanted to go.

The un-named pilot then decides to take matters into his own hands, telling Kerr “you don’t put your hands on my flight attendant,” thus surely fulfilling the dreams of every single person on that flight.


It eventually sounds like it all fell apart into a metaphysical one-way conversation about the state of our online lives.

“Because you are online, even though you don’t want to accept it,” Kerr can be heard saying as he is restrained by seat belts.


Kerr was charged with being intoxicated and disruptive, assault on a female, communicating threats and interfering with the duties of a flight crew or attendant, the Observer reported. He was released on $25,000 bond.

Deputy Editor, Jalopnik. 2002 Lexus IS300 Sportcross.

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