Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery

Illustration for article titled Tiger Woods' Escalade: Complete Cadillac Carnage Gallery

The Florida Highway Patrol's released detailed photos of Tiger Woods' crashed Cadillac Escalade and despite that story of his heroic wife, two rear windows are suspiciously smashed in. Also, he admitted to...something. That's not going to help things.

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Among the interesting things we learn from these images:

  • Both the passenger side and drivers side rear doors have the windows smashed in from the outside as evidenced by the glass all over the seats and floor. Rear windows aren't generally known for imploding upon frontal impact, indicating they were smashed in by somebody
  • For some reason Tiger Woods has a book in his back seat titled "Get A Grip On Physics" by John Gribben. Perhaps brushing up on his projectile physics.
  • Despite the obviously destructive nature of the crash, none of the vehicles airbags went off, indicating it was somewhat low speed
  • Tiger Woods bought DUB rims. We're wondering if he's having money trouble. Come on, not even Giovanna's Tiger? Really?

Photo credit: Florida Highway Patrol/Getty Images

DISCUSSION

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Brian, The Life of

After running this through our collision estimating software (I work for a software company in the space), this appears to be $5,070.66 worth of damage. Obviously without inspecting the vehicle in person, I could be off by a bit but I think this is pretty close. My assumptions was that this is a 2008 Escalade ESV Platinum in Black Mica.

Tiger, just a word of advice: You can rent 5 top shelf hookers for the cost of this damage. They specialize in discretion; it's sort of their stock in trade, if you know what I mean. I strongly suggest that your consider this next time you're needing a little "strange."