Does your wife complain about the pressure from her shoulder belt? Does your husband? Maybe the "Tiddy Bear" can help. Yes, folks — the "Tiddy Bear" — it clips onto your shoulder strap and slides up and down for complete comfort. Wait, who are we kidding? This thing is ridiculous. In fact, it's even earned a permanent place in Jalopnik's official "Top 10 Inanimate Objects We Wish We Could Be" list. And, yes, before you ask, this is a real commercial for a real product. (Hat tip to Ellen!)
These guys say "titty" more times in a 2-minute spot than most cable shows manage to choke out in 44 minutes.
Do you really want to give this thing to your kids and tell them it's a titty bear? Do you want to hear your kids chant "titty bear titty bear" over and over? 'Cause they will. You know they will.
Lap belt device: "Polly the pole dancer, to protect your pole from unnecessary snugness around your schvantz. Vibrating model available."